I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I came so hard my ears popped.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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