I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
