is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
is it fun? or sober?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
