I just cut my nipple shaving
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
