you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
