If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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