don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
