1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
