The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
