UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
