question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
