How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
