24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
