My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
