So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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