There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
