my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
