Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
