and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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