he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
