I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize