every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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