What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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