Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
