yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize