we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
