you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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