yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
