11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
The Olympian is in my bed
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
