just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize