You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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