Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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