So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
