Im at strip club and am horny
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Randomize
