I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
