i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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