whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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