I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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