she was so not down for the gang bang
ttyl tear gas
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
