the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
