What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i think i have herpe
just one?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
