went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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