Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize