Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
