I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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