Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
