Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
