I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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