you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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