I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
