that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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