do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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