Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize