Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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