Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
