I love black thongs
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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