I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just sucked dick on a ferry
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
