I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
