Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Randomize
