sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
