What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
